Posts Tagged ‘homeless’

Street Medicine has rapidly spread to become a global movement with over 100 programs worldwide on 6 continents. As the Street Medicine Institute prepares for the 13th Annual Street Medicine Symposium this October in Allentown, PA, it’s right to explore why this movement has taken hold and how this innovative healthcare delivery plan has inspired hundreds of overworked medical providers to put on a backpack and work more long hours for free outside the traditional medical establishment. Although the explanation I put forth is in no way comprehensive, may it serve as an offering to explain the “core” of what those associated with the movement are experiencing by going to the people.
One of the first lessons taught to medical providers in their education is not to get emotionally involved in “cases.” This means not getting too close to patients—no crying, no hugs– and not experiencing what they’re experiencing. It’s become a matter of professionalism, that’s it actually UNPROFESSIONAL to care. When people come to us in the midst of some suffering, they are reduced to becoming a “case” so that we may avoid letting emotion crowd our better medical judgement. Inevitably, we come in contact with suffering and are faced with a choice. Humans without a pathological medical condition can’t meet the face of suffering and feel nothing so the choice is to either engage and take on suffering along with the patient, or disengage as a self-protective mechanism leaving the patient to suffer alone. Since the inception of our training we are taught to be professional and this means not becoming emotionally involved, the tendency is to disengage and leave the patient suffering alone.
There is no point in engaging a suffering patient unless you are suffering with them for a reason, suffering with joy. This can’t be accomplished with the goal of social justice or to fulfill a business plan. Justice depends on giving everyone his or her rightful due. This practiced in excess, especially in certain patients, can have disastrous consequences. In order to practice street medicine correctly, we must rise above justice to give everyone MORE than he is rightfully due. This is done through charity, or love.
Approaching street medicine through the lens of charity is essential because patients experiencing homelessness suffer a lot. This suffering is not just from material poverty which we can cure for a moment by offering food. They also suffer from emotional and spiritual poverty from being discarded by society; of feeling unwanted and unloved. If we are going out to cure, which as medical providers we must, then we also must engage with them in their suffering. This means not just giving medicine to relieve bodily suffering, but to cure means relieving the spiritual and emotional suffering they also carry. To accomplish this, street medicine must be approached through charity and love, not justice.
How or why has this approach to patients experiencing homelessness caught on as a global movement? Street Medicine has caught on because it’s been spread through the joy of suffering and giving through charity. This has turned the light on in traditional healthcare institutions and practitioners. When you turn a light on in a room it doesn’t just shine on the ones you love best, not just our patients, but shines on all in the room, like our colleagues and friends in the community.
Street medicine, at its core, is the light that it gives us permission to share the sufferings of our patients with joy, through charity, with the purpose of healing spiritual, emotional and bodily suffering.

~ Brett Feldman

Nameless. Faceless. Invisible. It’s estimated that during the life of a homeless individual in the United States, many go up three months without being called by their name. The physical and social barriers between the housed and the unhouse are immense. For the homeless, it can seem to be an endless maze of closed doors. Like the old rat experiment from my Introduction to Psychology course- teach the rat what to do and what not to do by shocking it with a quick zap at deter unwanted behavior. For the homeless, they stand too long in the doorway of a business- zap! They go to a doctor’s office without insurance – zap! They ride the bus for too long- zap! Nowhere to go, nowhere to be and no where to feel safe.
But what happens when these souls pass on from this world? Most of the bodies of our friends who have lived their lives on the streets will remain in the county morgue waiting for someone to claim them. Usually no one comes. Unclaimed and unnoticed even after death. Most are cremated and buried in an unmarked grave, unceremoniously passing from the land of the living to the land of the dead. No memorial service, no sign in book, no slideshow of memories to cherish. Even the cause of death seem somewhat generic. The majority of the time the homeless who die on the street have died of “natural causes”. There’s no family to request an autopsy or discussion as to why or how someone died. They just simply die. The injustice against these souls does not end at the moment in which they take their last breath. Over the last 11 years, I’ve had the privilege of knowing many of our rough sleepers in the Lehigh Valley. Some have resided outside for more than a decade, others have floated between the streets, shelters and single room occupancies that scatter our cities. My experience has taught me their lives are anything but forgettable. Their survival to the moment in which they left this world is nothing short of remarkable. Many of our street friends have endured things that no human should ever experience. Abandonment, untreated mental illness, an astounding amount of physical and psychological trauma. And while each of us, homeless or housed, have undeniable autonomy over our choices, we cannot ignore how previous experiences affected growth, development and decision-making capacity of those who are unsheltered. They have taught me and those who have shared their lives with them the remarkable resilience of a person and how a community of strangers can grow to love one another when they share each other’s burdens. They are some of the funniest, kindest and truest souls I have even known who had a way of sharing their reality with me so I understood their wisdom.
As we ring in the beginning of winter this week, many cities across the United States remember those men and women who have died on our streets with a memorial service. So that their lives, even after death, can attempt to have some humanism attached to it. This year, a memorial wall has been erected in downtown Allentown. Located at 707 Hamilton St so that all who pass by will remember that the Lehigh Valley is not insulated from the harsh realities of homelessness and the fact that some of our own citizens die while struggling with homelessness. It is an attempt to remind us that we are all connected. The seen and unseen. The named and the nameless. So while we gather with those who we hold so dear during this holiday season let us remember those who passed in silence and offer them some compassion, some memory, and some honor.

Four years ago, we attended our first International Street Medicine Symposium in Boston (MA). I was wide eyed, excited and in hindsight- mostly clueless about the real world of street medicine. Street medicine in the Lehigh Valley did not exist yet, I had never been on street rounds and had only read about such legends in this area of medincine such as Dr. Jim Withers and Dr. Jim O’Connell. I met like minded people and heard tales of incredible collaboration between civil services, shelters, providers and consumers. I saw demonstrations of how humility combined with leadership can change an entire city and its citizens. And I do mean all of them – the housed and unhoused, the voting and non-voting, the overachieving students and the retired sunset-riders who directly or indirectly reaped the benefit of the Boston Healthcare for the Homeless Program (BHCHP). In the subsequent years, we travelled to Dublin, Ireland then San Jose, California and most recently- Geneva, Switzerland. Each conference provided new insights, new data, new frameworks, new friendships. As Dr. Pat Perri, chair of the Street Medicine Institute said at the most recent conference in Geneva- it is like meeting aliens from the same planet.

As I sit on my flight returning from Geneva, I am struck by the lecture I had the privilege of hearing yesterday by Nick Maguire (Southampton, UK). He is a psychologist with a brilliant mind and a wicked English sense of humor who has a way of making sense of the behavior chaos that we observe on a regular basis on the streets and in the shelters. His points were so profound to me that I have hardly been able to think of much else. But as he started his lecture, he told us how much this conference means to him. As he says, it is a bucket filler when the world is so often full of bucket emptiers. We come to this conference and are renewed with our sense of purpose and inspired by the brilliant minds from all across the globe that have so committed themselves to such a worthy cause. People who have left lucrative positions in pursuit of a meaningful contribution. People who risk arrest by providing medical care on the street. People who accept that possibility that everyone you know professionally and personally might think that you are crazy for doing this type of work.
As Nick was speaking, I glanced over my right shoulder and saw Jim Withers sitting toward the back of the room as he so often does and thought about how it feels to know that your vision is being shared and LIVED by so many people. Inspiration can be a fickle thing- there one day, and then gone the next. Sometimes people act on their inspiration but, action can also be fleeting. It is inspiration that makes us come back from church camp when we were kids and throw away all of our excess toys, cd’s (back when we used such antiquated objects to listen to music) and other items we deemed unnecessary once we realized that living a simpler life for a week wasn’t so bad after all. But three months later, there we are in our rooms with piles of newly accumulated junk that we forgot we had decided we could live without. Fleeting. But to inspire and then foster inspiration that changes the trajectory of how people LIVE is something quite different. And for me, the International Street Medicine Symposium is like inspiration on Arnold Schwartzeneger dosed steroids.

Thanks Street Medicine Institute. Bucket filled. Lid applied. Pressing on.

A few weeks ago, Lehigh Valley Health Network and the Street Medicine Program hosted two events with Dr. Jim Withers, a pioneer of street medicine in the United States, to raise awareness about homelessness to different groups in the Lehigh Valley. The first night was a small gathering of donors at a local country club with Dr. Withers as the featured panelist along with Brett and Dr. Motley, chair of the Community Health Department at Lehigh Valley Hospital.  It was a fascinating discussion about how street medicine in many cities has uncovered an ugly truth; that healthcare itself is very, very sick.  Often times the Street Medicine provider straddles two worlds. A world of middle class America and a world of extreme poverty and isolation. In terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we expect all patients to be functioning at the top of the pyramid in a place that Maslow defined as self-actualization. That is the place where people are achieving or are on their way to achieving their highest potential.  Because this is the basic assumption for all of those interacting with the healthcare system, it is no wonder that conscious or unconscious bias seeps in to our everyday patient interactions.  The traditional healthcare systems gets frustrated with those patients who just don’t or can’t follow through. We label them as non-compliant and design policies that allow us to dismiss patients from our practices after two no call no shows or after being late for an appointment a few too many times. Because after all, our clinical time is important and if we allow ‘them’ to be late then we are just enabling them.

Image result for maslow's hierarchy of needs

The homeless population and their interaction with the healthcare system is an example that can be applied to many other vulnerable populations who are expected to be functioning at the tip of Maslow’s pyramid. Domestic violence, gender dysphoria, substance abuse, financial instability and recent prison release are all examples of people are struggling to have their basic needs met. It was interesting to see and talk with the attendees at the conclusion of the panel discussion. Many of them have lived in this area their entire lives and never fully understood how and why this type of human condition was lurking in their own backyards. Perhaps the best part of the evening came from the country club bartender who spoke with me, Brett and Dr. Withers after the room had mostly cleared.  He shook our hands and told us that in his job, he listens to a lot of very boring presentations (and I believe him) but he was so grateful to have listened to this panel discussion.  He felt he had learned so much and went on to tell us about the homeless people he had known in his life and how he thought they may have ended up that way. Of all the people in the room, it seemed that perhaps the unsuspecting bartender had been one of the main benefactors of the event.

The following day, Dr. Withers gave grand rounds at the Hospital. Over 200 people RSVP’d to the event and the crowd was primarily full of short and long white coats.  At the conclusion of Dr. Withers discussion, a panel of currently or formerly homeless Lehigh Valley residents shared their stories of living on the streets, surviving on the streets and in our institutions and candidly shared how things could have been better.  One panelist has been unsheltered for over 9 years and shared that the Street Medicine team are the only people he knows that are not homeless.  This spoke to me particularly as I was reminded of the isolating nature of homelessness and the sense that the world can become ‘us’ and ‘they’ with seemingly very few bridges between. As I sat and listened, I noticed how absolutely silent it was in the room.  There was not a single pager ringing, phone buzzing or hushed side-conversation. Several hundred people who usually conversate all day were hanging on every single word these brave men and women shared.  I thought about how intimidating the room must have looked from the panelist table and that for years, the patients felt like no one listened to them. And yet, here we were, begging in earnest for them to tell us their stories. The power of this paradox is in its irony. Healthcare providers have an opportunity every day to listen to our patients stories. Not just the story of their symptoms. But THEIR story. We feel pressured to rush, to ‘work lean’, to make in through but in the end, that isn’t what anyone wants. Each time I see a room full of such talent hear the message of street medicine and the stories of its patient’s, I can’t help but feel the pull of a tide. That perhaps we are closer than we think to a return to the roots of good medicine and real connections with all of our patients.

Portland, Oregon is a fascinating city situated on the eastern bank of the Willamette River under the watchful eye of Mount Hood.  As with any city that enjoys a river running through it, the bridges that accompany the river become part of the recognizable landscape that defines its character.  Every thursday night, an army of 150 volunteers turn the space under the Burnside Bridge into a hub of activity and services for Portland’s homeless.  I first learned about NightStrike more than 6 months ago as I was interviewing a prospective PA student who was at DeSales for an interview into our 2016 incoming class.  In high school, she had spent time volunteering under the Burnside Bridge with NightStrike and had sited it as a transformational experience that allowed her to see her own city in a different and profound way.  Brett and I were accepted as speakers at the 2016 National Health Care for the Homeless Conference and Policy Symposium in Portland, Oregon and I decided that NightStrike was something I needed to see for myself.

NightStrike is a program run by Bridgetown Inc and was founded by Executive Director Marshall Snider and his wife Lesley Snider (Program Director) 13 years ago. The organization has 5 employees (including Marshall and Lesley) and in addition to NIghtStrike, have developed several programs targeting the marginalized adults and children in the Portland area. NightStrike alone mobilized over 9600 volunteers serving over 20,000 people experiencing homelessness each year. We arrived at a rented church space near the Burnside Bridge around 630pm and immediately upon entering the orientation space, Marshall and Emily (Development Director) welcomed us to the Program. Orienting over 100 volunteers each Thursday is no small task.  I was impressed by the clear and concise message delivered by Marshall to all the volunteers. The purpose of NightStrike is “Because People Matter” and the common denominator that all humans need and desereve love. He pointed out that the volunteer needs the giving experience just as much as the person needs the blanket and encouraged each volunteer to learn the names and stories of the guests being served. To take on an “Oh there you are!”attitude instead of a “Look here I am” attitude. As an organizer of many volunteers, I particularly appreciated this piece because the message of your organization can be inadvertently misrepresented by the volunteers that are so eager to serve. Another staff member performed the reading of the rules (no photography, let religion come up naturally(if at all), show respect) and safety protocols (walk away from anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, three whistle blows means evacuate calmly and immediately etc).  We then broke into smaller orientation groups for our respective jobs. I was assigned to be a hostess while Brett, Laura, Seth and two friends from Ft. Worth were assigned to the clothing cart. After getting the run down, we all walked down to the bridge where, on average, 350 guests await. The path to the bridge cuts through a green spaces with bubble fountains along the river before arriving at the concrete slabs where we would set up shop.  Rows of Home Deopt style 6 ft tables were set up with folding chairs were already occupied by weary men and women. A mobile dental clinic and a separate mobile medical van created part of the perimeter of our space. The Willamette River and four  occupied barber chairs rounded out the perimeter. A food table with hot chili, drinks and coffee was the first stop for most guests. Other services available that night was a clothing table, library table (with new and used books for exchange), pet food table, a sewing table with two sewing machines to repair clothing, sleeping bags, tents and tarps. I even saw one woman repairing a hot dog costume for a dachshund pup that accompanied his owner everywhere.  There was a bike repair stand with everything from air pumps to tire tubes and chains.  5 volunteers carefully washed the feet of travelers while two more gave manicures to the women. A resource table and veterans table provided critical support for people trying to find their way.

My job was to chit chat with guests. I was strangely appreciative of the fact that I was not the health care provider for the night. I walked around with a thermos full of coffee and poured fresh cups for those waiting in line. I struck up a conversation with a larger than life character named George. A 6’3 black man with a large white beard and a fisherman’s hat. He had fashioned a handmade wooden cart to the back of his bicycle that was packed with elaborate handmade birdhouses.  He told me many tales that evening and emphisized the important points by leaning in, raising his eyebrows and pausing dramatically before letting out the most infectious laugh. During our conversation, many ofther guests stopped by to check out the birdhouses. While George didn’t speak to them, it was clear that he took pride in their interest.

Not all guests were like George. As one would imagine, the homeless are as diverse as we are. Some clean, some not. Some with clear responses to hallcuinations, some not. Some sat quietly, some didn’t. Some preached, some didn’t. But one woman struck me. At first glance, she looked slightly out of place with a fairly new looking hot pink fleece jacket, hair styled, and make up applied. I struck up a converstaion with her and on closer look noticed the all to familiar desperate sadeness in her eyes that comes with not really knowing how you ended up here. She did not reveal any of her story to me other than to say that you do what you have to do to survive.  With that, I poured her a cup of coffee and talked to her about the different resources in the city.

Poverty and how a city assists those who are trying to crawl out from a dark place is a fascinating, and often untold tale, of that which makes up the character of a city. Organizations like NightStrike quietly do the necessary not only to empower the guests, but to remind the volunteers that caring about the homeless population is not futile. In fact, a powerful thing happens when people are guided into being part of the solution.  Well done NightStrike. Well done.

Today I watched a woman and her boyfriend go “shopping” in our donations room….they have been wearing the same outfits for 2 weeks. They were so grateful for everything we had to offer. I was asked several times, “can we have this?” Every time I smiled and said of course..as they sorted through the items I heard them constantly say to one another, we don’t need that, leave some of those, this is amazing…

You see this couple had a rough past, burned the bridges with their loved ones, the only bridges not burned are through current drug users. They sought out help at a rehab. When they started dating they were kicked out of rehab…tossed to the streets. All of their belongings were kept at the rehab and they have nothing.  They didn’t want to speak badly about the rehab because they felt it had truly helped them. They are now staying in a winter shelter. How do we expect people to stay clean&sober? They fought the fight of withdrawal, found support and are put to the streets. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to stay clean facing the circumstances these people have to face. It’s very sad to me…we lack support in the areas that we need it most, for the people who need it and want it..

This couple, they told me not to worry, they found love and are going to support each other through this mess. I assisted them in getting clothes, hygiene products, nail polish…just so she could feel normal again…

And thank to the person who donated the Uggs…she was ecstatic, you would have thought she won the lottery as she screamed with joy. I wish you could have seen her face.

~Laura LaCroix, R.N.

Snowpocolypse. Snowmaggedon. Holy -Snow-Batman! Whatever you call it, the snowfall over the last weekend was historic. But something else was happening in Allentown while we were all watching from our windows and marveling at this weather phenomenon.

On Saturday morning, with 9 inches of snow already on the ground, the Warming Station in Allentown sent it’s overnight guests to the streets because they are only operational at night. If it had not been for a local pastor, these people would have been left to try to find a public building to shelter in, a business that was trying to remain open that would allow for loitering or an abandoned building that perhaps no one would be looking for trespassers in. And what about the people who were not at the Warming Station the night before who may not have known about the good Pastor and his open doors?  How could a Warming Station staff street their guests who would need a plan to endure another 10-20 inches of snow before the Station opened again?

It really made me think about whose ‘problem’ the homeless people really are.  Why are there only a few who will take responsibility or, dare I say, ownership over  ‘their’ problems? Are we societally too stoic, compartmentalized and self-determined so that we believe that those who face a blizzard alone and homeless should have thought about that before they ‘made all their bad choices’? Are we worried about becoming too involved, caring too much, knowing too much only to find that there are too many one-way, dead end streets in our society? Do we fear the futility that comes with knowing without being able to act?

It would be easy to blame the operators of the Warming Station for streeting these people in the face of an impending Blizzard. These stations are opened on the heels of a public health concern.  Who wants to have citizens of their town freezing to death on their streets? But it is also a public service based on the principles of justice and beneficence. So how could people be left to fend for themselves in these harsh conditions? Dr. Jim O’Connell, founder of Boston Health Care for the Homeless Program, and a Harvard trained physician issued guidelines on temperature associated health risks to the homeless. The bottom line is that while water freezes at 32 degrees, human flesh is at risk for freezing at just 40 degrees. Often the greatest risk occurs when the ambient temperature is warm during the day and then drops drastically at night. From a business standpoint, a warming station could say they don’t have funds to pay for staff to be there during the day. They don’t have a food source there. Maybe they don’t have permission to keep the building owned by the Park and Rec Department open during the day. There are a hundred other reasons that they could come up with and some might be true. But the truth of it is, it doesn’t matter. These are people and they needed shelter. Could there have been a solution? A work-around?

The gravity of this current snow situation for the homeless is likely not to be understood for some time. But with each challenge must come insight and solutions to minimize risk the next time around. First, is the issue of the Code Blue designation. The Code Blue designation is issued by Lehigh County Emergency Management when temperatures dip below 32 degrees. The Code Blue status is supposed to be posted on the Lehigh County Emergency Management website but currently does not indicate a Code Blue listing. Today is a high of 26 and a low of 9, certainly we meet criteria. ‘Code Blue’  isn’t a searchable term on their website and it is difficult to find any information about what this designation really means. Anecdotally, I can tell you that local shelters loosen their admission criteria and put people any where they can as a temporary measure. The most current listing of Code Blue places available on the internet is from 2014 and basically contains a list of local shelters. Shouldn’t this designation allow for other buildings owned by the City to remain open as a public health measure? And why is the temperature cut off 32 degrees when data supports danger starting at a temperature of 40 degrees?

Second, those who are in the business of providing shelter as a public service should be held accountable for their actions. Many of these shelters and warming stations receive monetary support from citizens, government, grants etc. who expect that they are providing the service of warming and shelter.  You are accountable to your stakeholders. Is the city of Allentown responsible for sheltering these people or are they relieved of their responsibility because they funded another entity to provide this public service?  Take the example of our local hospitals. Healthcare workers slept in the hospital and shoveled on-ramps on 78 in order to get to work because the hospitals take their responsibility of being prepared for patients despite weather or any other natural disaster. The hospitals require it and the healthcare workers abide by it because of their moral responsibilities to their patients. Another example is the accountability of disaster preparedness where organizations accept risk for the greater good. Successful organizations balance between risk and preparedness with the ethical principles of justice and nonmalifecence. These preparedness documents should be well thought out and easily implemented. Just as in disaster preparedness, when running a winter shelter, one must be prepared for winter weather.
Finally, there is the humanistic aspect. In times of trial when human lives and dignity are on the line it is ALL of our responsibility to care for those in need.  If you’ve accepted the public commission to care for the most vulnerable, you can’t abandon that post in the worst of times. At the same time, if you haven’t accepted that post in an official matter you aren’t absolved of your moral responsibility. This weekend in Allentown that is exactly what happened. Although not bound by grants or funding, Zion Church opened their doors to those most in need of sheltering from danger, just as they did in 1777 when they “housed” the Liberty Bell, keeping it safe from the British during the Revolutionary War (www.libertybellchurch.org).  Let it be a lessoned learned; that true responsibility comes from within.

Sitting on a tarmac outside of the Newark NJ airport, I am trying to wait patiently for my plane to take off. I hear mostly white noise as people are shuffling to their seats and stuffing oversized bags into small overhead compartments. I look to my right and see a recent DeSales PA Program graduate sitting a few seats away. In the midst of our boarding process, I hear words being shared about street medicine and homelessness to the unsuspecting middle seat passenger. In 6 hours, Seth could have her convinced to attend the 11th Annual International Street Medicine Conference with us.

 

While I don’t often spend much time reflecting back on progress over time, I find that preparing for conferences like these tends to send me back to a time when I knew less in both knowledge and people. Two years ago, Brett and I attended our first International Street Medicine Symposium in Boston. We had read so much about the world-renowned Boston Health Care for the Homeless Program (BHCHP) founded and flourished by Dr. Jim O’Connell. I had followed their website for years and had a visit to BHCHP on my bucket list for years. (Hey, some people sky dive, I visit homeless programs.) The opportunity presented itself for this visit with just a few weeks notice. Generous support from both of our sponsoring institutions (to let us go) and family (to keep our kids) allowed Brett and I to travel that Fall to Boston. It was the first time we were able to see a mature and robust healthcare for the homeless program and see first hand how something like that is grown and cultivated over time. Each member of BHCHP seemed to share the vision that had begun more than 20 years before. They were motivated, enthusiastic and committed. At a dinner reception after the first day, Brett and I met Dr. Jim O’Connell for the first time. He was genuinely interested in our small but eager programs. I mentioned that the DeSales Free Clinic has an operational budget of about $18,000. I’ll never forget his response. “You do all of that with $18,000? I have a multimillion dollar budget. It sounds like I have something to learn for you.” I was dumbfounded. You? Learn something from me? It sounded laughable ( and still does) but he was sincere. And a reflection of how all Street Medicine Programs are treated by their peers. This type of interaction has been repeated many times over as street medicine programs come from all over the world, once a year, to learn, share, eat, drink and be merry. Dr. Jim Withers of Operation Safety Net (Pittsburgh, PA) once told me that he thinks that people at this conference and his patients sometimes understand him better than his family. (True)

Now, we are heading to San Jose (CA) for this years conference. Our programs have grown exponentially since that first trip to Boston. So many ideas were illuminated, so many seeds planted. We are travelling with 8 other street medicine team members- 2 University of South Florida SELECT medical students, 2 DeSales University physician assistant students, 2 recent graduates of the DeSales PA Program, LVHN Street Medicine’s new case manager and new clinical coordinator. It is hard to imagine the life trajectories that can change when armed with the knowledge that comes from conferences like these. Brett and I sometimes joke that it feels like you are going away to camp. The time is short, the bond is strong.

Caterpillars are not particularly ferocious creatures. Slow and steady and according to my children, very hungry. I am not even sure that they make any noise at all. Or, come to think of it, have any teeth. They do their thing in their unassuming way and eventually make it to butterfly utopia. Silently and without bells or whistles, they make the world a more beautiful place. I have often marveled at the way passion can turn an otherwise quiet and unassuming human into a bull in a china closet. I am certain you have witnessed this phenomenon and it can happen to any of us. Once, while sitting in an ethics lecture some years back, a girl who I had never heard even speak suddenly found her voice and schooled the room about the seemingly double standard in the world regarding when life begins. Looking around, her point had not only been made, but her peers were blown away by the passion that was residing within her.

Advocates for many causes are much like the girl I just described. I remember a neighbor I had who loved animals. She always had a foster animal that she was rehabilitating for adoption. She would spend hours nursing the animal back to health. Once, I got up to go to the bathroom late at night only to glance out the window and see her sitting beneath a porch light picking fleas out of a sad lump of fur. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. For some people, it is animals or organic food. The environment or breast cancer or autism or homelessness. World hunger, toxic waste or children in Africa. The cause is different but the root is the same. All causes need passion like this. It is what inspires other people to give two rats patooties about something they otherwise couldn’t care less about. I often think that I relate more to people who are passionate about SOMETHING (even if I fall into the rats patootie category about the cause) than those who are indifferent about EVERYTHING.

I am often asked how we do it all. I can see the look in people’s eyes as they ask the question. It is a third happy, a third bewildered and a third concerned. They know we have many clinics and homeless responsibilities. I myself work one full time job and two per diem jobs in addition to my obligations to the homeless. We have three children and other community responsibilities. I know why they are worried and why I am not. The answer is simple. I am compelled. I know that it is not I who is in charge of this master plan. Tenui nec dimmitam- latin for “I have taken hold and I will never let go.” This phrase reminds me to breathe easy, let it go (not the Frozen kind) and have courage.

Caterpillar roar.

I’ve never given a eulogy before. While preparing for his, I realized I really didn’t know much about him, but felt I understood him. The two words that best described him were courage and character. Not usually the first two words that come to mind when picturing a man who made his home in a drainage pipe for almost 5 years. He never left because he said, “It was a good spot.” In fact, none of the homeless providers knew who he was until the day he came into our hospital complaining of abdominal pain. At the time, it seemed like his life was finally turning around. He had a job. After months of trying, he got a job which required an almost 10 mile walk each way daily. He was saving his money and had an apartment picked out closer to his work so he could, “walk to it,” which always made be chuckle when he said it.

“Courage” describes him so well because the day I met him (in the hospital) was the day I told him he had a terminal illness and only a few months to live. He smiled his crooked smile that I would see so much over the next few months, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Well, I guess that’s the way it goes….. What do I do now?” At first I wasn’t sure he understood what I just said so I repeated it and his reaction made me understand that he did understand, and simply had a degree of bravely rarely seen. He asked me what they would do with him after he dies. I honestly wasn’t sure so I asked what he would like us to do. He said all he wanted was a box with a cross on it but nothing else. He also told me he was Catholic but hasn’t attended church in about 15 years and wanted to know if it was ok to see a priest.

We told some of the local landlords about his situation and helped with getting an apartment for $250 a month so he wouldn’t have to spend his last days in the drainage pipe, no matter how good of a spot it was. He saw me at least weekly in the soup kitchen and was visited by our hospice nurse much more often in his new apartment. We also arranged for him to go into our inpatient hospice unit whenever he wanted, even if it meant his stay could last months, which isn’t the normal procedure for an inpatient hospice unit. He said he would stay out as long as he could so the people who were sicker than him could have the bed. By making that decision, it meant he would continue to struggle finding food daily, walking miles to different soup kitchens even as he grew weaker. I soon learned that his weekly walk to see me at the soup kitchen was the barometer he used to tell him when it was time to enter the hospice unit.

As time went on he grew so weak he could no longer make the walk to see me, was vomiting all food and drink, and was even having trouble getting around his apartment. Also, the heat broke in his apartment—in January—which he said didn’t bother him because he still had a bed and 4 walls, which is more than he had the last 5 year. With his nurses help, we convinced him to go to the hospice unit and he agreed. He wouldn’t go until he cleaned his apartment, packed up all his belongings, and took it to the shelter to give them to someone who needed them. We tried to talk him out of the strenuous task of cleaning when he was barely able to walk but he wouldn’t hear of it. The landlord was so nice to rent to him at such a low price he couldn’t leave the apartment dirty, he said. When I think of his strong character, I consider that for a man who had so little in life, and was now so close to death, his biggest concerns was for the sicker people in the hospital than he, the other homeless who were more in need of clothes than he, and not violating the trust of his landlord who first showed trust in him.

While delivering my eulogy I looked out in the full seats in the funeral home and was struck by how many people he brought together. All of his caretakers and an old acquaintance from high school came to say goodbye with a priest presiding in front of his beautiful box with a cross adorning the top. In the end, he got all he wanted, and we received a lesson of a lifetime.

-BF