Yesterday afternoon, a few of my co-workers and I were walking to a picnic held on the DeSales University campus. We were admiring the beautiful weather and the beautiful surroundings. Despite my love for the urban and rural homeless population, I have to admit it is a quiet retreat to spend time on this beautiful campus of rolling hills and beautiful fields.We noted a tree that was already changing it’s leaves. This launched a whole discussion about how everything is in a hurry- A.C. Moore already has Christmas decorations for sale and emails are jamming my inbox with taglines reminding me how many Fridays are left until Christmas. I, for one, have never really enjoyed winter. If the weather could stop at late October and blend right into April, I would be happy. The prediction for our area this year is another unbearably cold winter with higher than average snowfall. Putting my own last winter-related, generator-finding-polar-vortex-enduring PTSD aside, I think to the other work in my life.

It was a Sunday at the end of February 2014.   Brett’s cell phone rang and it was Jackie, a parish nurse who works with Brett at the Soup Kitchen Clinic. She was calling because she had a patient with her who was desperate to find someone named Corinne who normally takes care of him. She wanted to know if Brett knew who this Corinne person was. Much to her surprise, he passed the phone to his right and she got her answer. It seemed that Kevin* had been asked to leave the homeless shelter he was previously staying in. He had violated one of their rules and as Kevin said, “That was that.” He was out of medications but more importantly, he was out of shelter . The only other place to find shelter was over full and Kevin had been denied entrance the prior two nights. The temperatures were drastically low and he was scared and cold. He had only been able to take the belongings that he had near his bed. All of his items in storage, he told me, were discarded. Imagine the attachment you would have to your belongings if you could count all of them on your own two hands. More concerning, Kevin suffered from incontinence. Not having a reliable place to use the restroom and clean clothes to change into worsened the situation.

Kevin has been my patient for the last two years. He comes to the Clinic religiously every Tuesday for a blood pressure check. The blood pressure check almost always reveals more information about his week, his life and his other medication conditions. Despite his chronic incontinence, he always smelled like cologne. Kevin was compliant, he was never late for an appointment I had set up for him and he never ran out of his medications. He is talkative, polite and wonderful with the students. He had often told me he liked helping the students get their education. The students felt responsible for Kevin, but Kevin also felt responsible for the students.

Kevin and I agreed to meet on Tuesday. I went to my PA students and explained Kevin’s situation. Most of the students knew him from the Free Clinic and were deeply saddened to think of him sleeping on the street. I could see it in their faces- homelessness just got real.

Being that Kevin is a very tall man, finding clothes for him would be difficult. But the students rallied and came up with clothes, toiletries, snacks and other things they thought he would need. I arrived to meet him a few minutes early. In a strange change in weather, the polar vortex had given way to an unseasonably warm that day with a high of 62. I had not even worn a coat as I walked from my car to the building and I passed a few overzealous locals in shorts and tank tops. A few minutes later, I looked out the double glass doors to see a man dressed like the Abominable Snowman. He was struggling with the heavy doors and as I walked closed to help him, I realized it was Kevin.

Everything he owned was literally layered on his body or crammed into a messenger bag that was ripped down one side. Over the course of 10 minutes, he removed from his body 4 winter hats/hoods, two pairs of gloves (both ripped), a puffy winter coat, a leather jacket, a windbreaker, two sweatshirts, a button up collared dress shirt and a long sleeved t-shirt. He had on three pairs of pants, all of which were soaked with urine. What bothered me more than his layers, was his facial expression. Minimal eye contact, soft voice. No smile, no light hearted upbeat Kevin. The Kevin was lost, buried in the pile of clothes sitting beside him. A sadness filled his eyes. He told me he was so embarrassed for me to see him this way, embarrassed to walk the streets literally wearing everything he owned. He didn’t know what to do, where to go. He was desperate. Then his phone rang and it was his mother. She wanted to talk to me. I could hear it in her voice. She begged. She pleaded. “Find him somewhere to sleep tonight! Please! Why isn’t there anywhere else for him to go? Where are all the other people who are homeless?” Her questions were valid. Her frantic tone of voice was justified. Her disbelief that we have nowhere to put our homeless at night. I apologized, I justified, I rationalized, I validated. But in the end, I had no answers.

Then it was my turn to beg and plead. Could he come home to her? Were there resources for homeless in her town? Could she think of a family member, a friend, anyone who would take him in? All the answers were no. And while she wouldn’t elaborate as to why, I could sense that her answer was non-negotiable. There was no answer for Kevin that night. He had nowhere to stay and nowhere to go. It was gut wrenching. As a health care provider, I felt horrible. As a mom, I cannot imagine laying in my bed at night wondering if my son was sleeping outside in the cold. As a friend, I felt helpless. I could work no miracles that night. He slept outside behind a YMCA and waited for another day.

Eventually, we were able to convince the shelter that had asked him to leave to reconsider their decision. Kevin was permitted to return to the shelter and has been diligently working on filling out government paperwork, attending doctor’s appointments and applying for housing. Last week, he proudly reported that he had work with a local resource to update his resume and had interviewed for three jobs. Progress was being made and I am so proud of his recovery trajectory. As summer fades to fall, I know that Old Man Winter is waiting just around the corner. He lurks and just when you have almost forgotten the bone chilling cold that makes you want to pack up and move South for good, he snaps you back into His frosty world reminding me that “Walking In A Winter Wonderland” could have only been written by a person who was housed.

 

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